Total pages in book: 109
Estimated words: 107352 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 537(@200wpm)___ 429(@250wpm)___ 358(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107352 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 537(@200wpm)___ 429(@250wpm)___ 358(@300wpm)
“But interestingly enough, there was no one between their mother and you.”
“That’s because you haven’t dated.”
His eyes narrowed. “So I should date, is what you’re saying?”
“Yes,” I muttered, even as my stomach rolled suggesting that to him.
“Did you feel it, in your gut, when you said that?”
I would not answer him if my life depended on it.
“I don’t know how it feels to you, Nash, but even thinking about you going anywhere with that lawyer… I thought I was gonna throw up.”
My gaze returned to his face.
“I mean, what the hell? When Caitlyn cheated on me, I was sad, not jealous. When the lawyer was putting the moves on you at my fuckin’ dining table, I saw red. I wanted him the fuck outta my house and away from you.”
He was being honest. It was only fair that I was as well. “If you could wait and not date until after I leave, I would appreciate that.”
“Because?”
“Because I feel very… Okay, so there’s another reason why I’ve never had a long-term thing with anyone.”
He hopped up on the counter, getting comfortable. We had to stay there—anywhere else and Tatum and her friends would hear us from the living room. “Tell me. I’m ready.”
“You’re being funny. Don’t be funny.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll never be funny again. G’head.”
I took a breath. “See, I get very… I…”
“Possessive,” he stated like he knew, not at all like he was guessing. He said it like he could see right into my heart. “You get very possessive. The belonging and the mine, that’s what happens, doesn’t it?”
I searched his face.
“I know. I see it. The kids feel it, and they need it so badly, to be wanted and needed and loved, so they cluster around you and soak it up.”
It was a lot of honesty, and I had to breathe and not look at him.
“You hug them and squeeze them, and even Griff, who’s sixteen, hugs you every night before he goes to bed. I got a kiss on the cheek the other night and nearly died of happiness right there.”
I coughed softly. “I saw you. You froze.”
“I didn’t want to scare him away.”
“My father hugged and kissed me all the time. And he probably did it because he was trying to make up for my mother not being there, but he did.”
Reaching out, he cupped my cheek, and I lifted my eyes to his. “You’re a natural caretaker, Nash. Do you know that about yourself?”
“Normally it comes out as protective, and that I do know.”
“You’re selling yourself short. Because you don’t just want to protect my kids and me. You want to love us. All of us.”
But that could never happen. “Listen to—”
“No. You listen. Because right now, at this moment, you think of Griff, Dar, and Tate as belonging to you. I wasn’t here at first, so there was no distance between any of you, there was no having me be the last word, so you, the big, scary hawk, took my three little ducklings under your wing, and that was it.”
I scowled at him.
“You have no idea how dark your eyes get when you’re lookin’ at me like I’m nuts.”
“Ducklings?”
He nodded. “Yep. They imprint fast.”
“Who are you?”
He chuckled. “You think of them as yours, and then I came home, stepped into the mix, and guess what?”
“I think I’m gonna go to bed and let you deal with—”
“Oh hell no. You have to stay with me to monitor all the children. I didn’t agree to do any of this alone.”
“Yes, but shouldn’t you?” I pointed out. “Don’t you think you should get used to doing things by yourself so you can—”
“No, actually. Because you don’t want me out there doing that.”
“Why don’t I?”
“Because I belong to you. You want me home, in my bed, safe, like Tatum and Dar. All warm in the nest, and then you will take your other bird out and drop him off and worry until he gets home.”
“I’m not going to worry about—”
He laughed at me.
“You don’t know me.”
“Oh, the hell I don’t,” he said, leaning forward. “You give me all the reasons you should go, but I’m not stupid. There’s nowhere you’d rather be than with us.”
I stayed quiet, because lying was no good. I couldn’t do that, not to him. He’d had his share of that already.
“And I wish I could offer you everything right this second, everything you need, but I don’t know what—I mean, I want to see if when you kiss me again, if it feels the same or if that was just a one-off.”
I wasn’t going to ask, but I couldn’t help it. “How did it feel?”
“Like I didn’t want you to stop. Like I wanted you to lie down so I could kiss you more and touch you. And see, I’m possessive too. That’s why Caitlyn cheating was so… I trusted that she was mine. That she was out there, walking around in the world, thinking, I have a home with Luke, with my kids…but she was looking for more because I wasn’t enough, and because of that, my kids lost out too.”