Total pages in book: 109
Estimated words: 107352 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 537(@200wpm)___ 429(@250wpm)___ 358(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107352 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 537(@200wpm)___ 429(@250wpm)___ 358(@300wpm)
“That’s not what happened, and you know it as well as I do. She could have prioritized those kids, but she didn’t pick them.”
“No, she didn’t. And now, when I think about her, there’s nothing. When I think about her being gone, all I am is sad for my kids.”
“Yeah, I—”
“But now, when I think about you going, leaving me, leaving the kids, I feel this emptiness in the pit of my stomach.”
“But I won’t stay here for—”
“And then I thought we were done with that, and at least for a time that would allow me to breathe and plan and figure out what I wanted, what I could give, but then your friend today says he can move you right after Thanksgiving, and now, because of you, I’m dreading a holiday I’ve loved since I was a kid.”
“Oh, that is some bullshit,” I snapped, then turned the sprayer on him.
His yell brought Tatum from the other room.
“What are you two doing?” she admonished us. “I have company.”
Luke was laughing. “I’m very sorry. I—”
“And why are you wet?” she asked him, clearly irritated, hands on her hips.
“Listen, Nash started it, and then—”
“No,” she growled, then her angry eyes were on me.
“In my defense, your father said something really stupid.”
“But that doesn’t mean we resort to violence.”
She sounded just like me, which was troubling.
“Stop fooling around and don’t embarrass me,” she scolded us, her voice full of derision and disappointment. “God.” The foot stomp before she flounced away was classic.
Luke couldn’t stop laughing.
“Get down from the counter,” I instructed, “and go check on—”
“Stop,” he ordered me, hopping off and stepping directly into my space, pressing his lips to the side of my throat.
“Luke, the kids will—”
“I need you to call Shaw and tell him you’re going to stick it out with the family that’s crazy about you, and when the time is actually up, then we will all worry about what to do next.”
I put a few feet between us. “Things can’t be up in the air the whole time. That’s not fair to you, the kids, or to me.”
Suddenly, he looked both sad and tired, and I felt like crap for being the cause. “I don’t know what you expect me to do.”
“Figure out what you really want,” I said simply. “That’s all anyone can ask.”
“And what if I want it to be you, want to have you in my life, but the physical piece is beyond me?”
“Then we’ll be friends,” I assured him. “I could be your friend.”
“You kiss all your friends the way you kissed me?”
I scowled at him. “Obviously, time apart will help that.”
“So you’d just leave?”
“That was the plan from the start,” I reminded him.
We were both quiet, and for my part I realized that honestly, it was probably best that I went home in December. There had been no one since his wife, and when I’d stepped into her spot to help, he got confused. If you wanted someone, you knew right away. You didn’t need time to figure it all out.
“I need you to stop and let us all breathe, all right? You said I deserve to be happy too, remember? So allow me the time to sort this all out.”
“You’re not supposed to become involved with your fixer,” I said, because it was true and because I needed to say something.
His laugh, man, I could not get enough of the sound. “I bet if I called Shaw right now and asked him how many fixers Torus Intercession loses to love, it’ll be a pretty big number.”
It was more than half over the years. “No,” I lied.
His chuckle was filthy as he slipped his hand up under my heavy shawl-collar sweater, under the T-shirt, to my skin. “Another amazing thing about you is that you’re a terrible liar.”
Everywhere his fingers touched, I felt heat and ripples of need, and it was hard to get my breathing to even out.
“Could you please give in? You have to give me a second to figure out my life,” he murmured, gently knocking his forehead on my shoulder. “I deserve that time.”
He did, but honestly, so did I. And if he decided it wasn’t me, that he didn’t want a man, then what was I supposed to do?
“I would never say it wouldn’t be you.”
That wasn’t true at all, but all I could do was wait.
TEN
Nothing ever goes how you think it will.
Saturday morning, every parent and guardian was texted the news that Mrs. Burch, the geology teacher, had gone into labor that morning, two weeks early. In my opinion, she should have already been on maternity leave, but she loved teaching, and the kids, and had been looking forward to the field trip. She was clearly one of the good ones, and mom and her twins were thankfully doing great. As Mrs. Burch would not be making the field trip, she had asked a colleague from the University of Washington, Dr. Cameron Attwood, to take over for her, and he would be delivering a lecture and tour at the Pacific Science Center.