Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 84289 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84289 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
My cock is deep inside him, all the way to the hilt. He’s taking me like he’s made for it, begging for it like the time before, and this time I’m giving in.
I fuck him so hard that tears break off from the corners of his eyes but he still asks me to go harder, to make it hurt even more.
“Not fragile,” he utters. “I can take it.”
“You don’t know how much you can take,” I tell him.
He moans for me.
“And you don’t know how to admit how much you want me. How much you like me. Do you want me for real, Niko? Could you ever actually care about me?”
I hate it.
I hate that he says it, and I hate that it gets a reaction out of me.
I shove my cock in harder, holding back nothing now, knowing it has to hurt. But all Oliver does is moan deeper, enjoying anything I give him.
“You’re letting me hurt you,” I protest, even as I take what I want.
His voice is a low growl. “Hurt me more.”
“You can’t want that. Can’t want me.”
“Have you ever been in love, Niko?”
I feel like something’s splitting open inside me.
“Don’t ask me that.”
“I’ve never felt it. I want to know. What does it feel like to be in love?”
I clasp a hand over his mouth but all he does is shove it away.
Stop fucking saying that word.
I bend over and claim his mouth in a kiss instead to make him shut up. It’s not real. Any of this. As I fuck him I dimly register that this must be a dream. I’ve had lucid dreams before, where I take control, let myself fly, let myself jump from skyscrapers.
And there’s something sick about this one.
I don’t want to stop fucking him. I want his body like it’s a toxic need, want to take his goddamn soul like it’s my possession to keep.
But I can’t let him say things about love.
Don’t.
Fucking.
Say that word.
Not to an empty shell with nothing to offer.
“I have nothing to give you,” I whisper down at his pretty green eyes, pushing in deep and slow, waiting for the disappointment to sink in.
But he looks at me like he knows better.
And I feel his breath as he whispers.
“Liar.”
I wake up with a jump.
I’m hot all over again, and this time more pissed off than before. I shove away my covers and struggle to walk out through the dark hall across to the bathroom.
I shut the bathroom door too hard and don’t even bother turning on the lights as I slump down onto the cold tile, illuminated by the silvery light from the moon that filters through the small window.
I pull out my aching cock and close my fist around it. I make myself come, fast and hard, shame seeping through every bone in my body as I finish in my own hand.
Just a dream.
None of it real.
He would never talk to you about love. Like it exists to fucking begin with.
He doesn't even know the real you.
Doesn’t know what happened just a few months ago.
Ollie doesn’t need to hear about the darkest moment of my life.
When I nearly died, and at the time, I didn’t think I had much to live for, anyway.
“Sevan,” I say as he finally picks up his phone.
“God, it’s good to speak to another human. What’s up, Niko?”
Losing sanity.
Wound up like a rusty spring.
Craving a bullet through my skull just to help me clear my head.
The usual.
I pace back and forth in my room. “Need to do something. You down to come do boring work with me, setting up for a party?”
“I’m not exactly the best bet for physical labor. You realize I won’t be able to use my legs for at least another month?”
“I’m sure they need pairs of hands just as much as pairs of legs. They’re setting up for the winter formal down at Student Hall, and I need to go make an appearance with Oliver.”
It’s sort of the truth.
Oliver actually has no clue that I’m planning to show up to help with the winter formal setup.
It’s now been a full week since we went official.
And it’s unraveling me, bit by bit.
Every day he refuses to go grab lunch or dinner with me at the Kettle when I ask. He claims he’s busy with school and some volunteering he’s been doing with Wes and Roman for the society, but I know for a goddamned fact everyone else is home more than he is now.
My dreams have been driving me crazy. I need to be around real-life Oliver for long enough to get it out of my system.
Sevan lets out an exhale. “I do need to get out of this fucking room. Fine.”
“Beautiful. I’ll come, we can drive over in the Mustang, and I’ll help you in.”
A few minutes later, I’m over at the Double Daggers house, helping Sevan down the stairs. He gets into his wheelchair and I bring him out to the car, getting him into the front seat and folding the chair into the back of the car.