Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 86364 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 432(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 288(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86364 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 432(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 288(@300wpm)
“What?” I finally demanded. “You like Declan. Don’t say you don’t. I know you do.”
“Yes, of course I like Declan. He’s quiet, but he’s very sweet. And he’s trying so hard to take care of you and Joy. No, my worry is what your plans are for your life. How long have you been living with him?”
“A month or so.”
“And the insurance has paid you?”
“Yes.”
“When are you planning to find your own place and move out?”
My mouth bobbed for a moment, but no sound left me. I didn’t have any words. No argument that I could make. In the past few weeks, I hadn’t given a single thought to looking for a new apartment.
“I’m afraid you’re relying on him too heavily to avoid dealing with your own life.”
I sucked in a ragged breath at her harsh words. Heat from a mix of anger and embarrassment raced across my face and up to the tips of my ears. Was she fucking serious?
“Don’t get all huffy with me, Mister,” she said in her best mom tone, stopping me before I could argue. “You had all these big plans for your life, and they got massively derailed—first with Joy and then with the fire. In the blink of an eye, this very nice, very sexy man stepped in and made all your troubles go away. I understand staying for a little while to get your bearings, but you’ve always been incredibly independent. Are you hiding from all the bad things that have happened to you recently?”
Her words were a slap to the face no matter how delicately she attempted to deliver them. I shoved to my knees, my hands balled into fists at my sides. “When have I ever run from my problems? I’ve always faced everything head on.”
“You have, but during the worst of it, you also had Molly right at your side.”
My mom never pulled her fucking punches. I could feel all my righteous anger draining out of me at the mention of my dead best friend. It had been easy to be bold and brave when I’d had Molly at my side the whole way.
Mom’s expression softened and her eyes grew teary behind her glasses. “Park, honey, I’m not blaming you for needing time. Losing Molly would have been enough to set anyone back. She was like a sister. But to lose your home and your work, too. I get it. I do, honey. Declan has offered you a warm, safe environment in which to heal, and I am grateful to him for that. But have you even tried to leave this little cocoon he’s built for you? Are you even aware that you might be putting your life on hold and hiding out of fear of being hurt again?”
“How would my situation now be different if I’d taken your advice after Molly died and moved to Arizona? Wouldn’t I be living with you and Dad? Supported while I recovered from my life taking this weird turn?”
“But we’re your family. This is what we do for each other,” Dad interjected, but it didn’t help.
“We both know that if you moved home, you wouldn’t stay for more than six months. Probably just three. Then you’d have your own place for you and Joy. With Declan, you have no exit strategy. No plan to get on your own two feet.”
My mouth flew open to argue, but not a single sound trickled from my throat. What the hell could I say? She was right. Declan hired me to paint murals in his house, and I’d jumped on it because it gave me the chance to cling to my old dream while creating a sense of financial security, but where was the plan to get my own home? Where was the plan for how I was going to raise Joy on my own?
And now we were dating. Everything was becoming so tangled. Now even my emotions for Declan were changing, but was I staying with him because it was easy or because I loved him?
Even thinking about moving out of Declan’s house was like a knife stabbing me in the chest. I looked forward to having dinner with him every night. We would alternate who got to feed Joy while the other person ate. And our weekends were magical. Even when we were stuck at home because the weather was bad, just spending a quiet afternoon together was everything I could ever want. I had no desire to lose our time together.
But my mom had a point.
Was I hiding in Declan’s house because I didn’t want to face how hard life could be on my own? That wasn’t fair to Declan or myself.
I turned to face the fountain and dropped onto my ass. It took only a second to locate Declan and Joy as they made the turn toward us. He might not have been smiling, but I could see the upward tilt of his chin and the tiny spring to his steady gait. Declan was happy. So fucking happy. And it was because of Joy and me. Was I supposed to steal the happiness from him now because I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing with my life?