Total pages in book: 72
Estimated words: 70630 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 353(@200wpm)___ 283(@250wpm)___ 235(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 70630 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 353(@200wpm)___ 283(@250wpm)___ 235(@300wpm)
“Wonderful. Hopefully we will be working together soon.”
“Yes, thank you again.”
I hung up. What was wrong with me? Dr. Braithwaite was warm and charming, so much more personable than Dr. Buxton, my current department chair. Campton was an excellent school, and if I turned this offer down, I’d probably never get another one as good. But my heart wasn’t in it.
Your heart is with Connor.
I didn’t want to admit how true that was, but it wasn’t the only reason I didn’t want the job. Campton was in Wisconsin. I hated the cold like I hated asparagus, and I’d rather eat a live worm than a stalk of asparagus.
I needed to call David and talk it over. Usually, I knew exactly what David would advise, but not this time.
You also need to call Connor.
My breakfast formed a heavy lump in my stomach. No way could I tell Connor I might be moving, not when things were just getting really good for us.
If you want him to be open and honest with you, then you have to return the favor.
I would tell Connor. Just not yet, not until I made a decision. No reason to say anything if I wasn’t going to take the job, right?
Connor
When I first returned to the States, Mario and I rarely talked more than once a month. That was partly because of the missions he and the team were sent on, but mostly—if I had to guess—because he didn’t know what to say to me. Now that I knew he thought I’d saved his life instead of seeing it the other way around, his uncomfortable silence made even more sense. Lately, though, we’d been talking more. Things had been in a lull for the team, and Mario had started calling about once a week.
I rarely initiated the calls, since I never knew when he’d be somewhere he could talk, but a week or so after Jeremy fucked me until I couldn’t stand up, I waited until night had fallen in the Middle East and called him. He didn’t answer, so I left a message asking him to call me back.
The sound of my phone ringing woke me from a dream several hours later. I’d been in the desert—not as a prisoner, just lying there in the unrelenting heat, wondering if I’d ever make it back to camp.
I picked up my phone and squinted at the screen. It was Mario. “Hello.”
“What’s up?”
“I… um…” What the hell was I supposed to say?
I’m gay. Just say it. Don’t wait.
No, I’ve got to work up to it.
“I woke you up, didn’t I? But you must’ve wanted to tell me something important. You never call.”
Was there a sarcastic edge in his voice? Did he expect me to call? He’d never said anything if he did, so how was I supposed to know? “I never know if you’re somewhere you can get a call.”
“I know. It’s fine.”
“I was just… checking on you. Seeing how things were going.”
“Nah, you wanted something else.”
Perceptive bastard. Sometimes I hated how well we could both read cues from others. That skill had saved our lives more than once, but in the civilian world, it was mostly a burden. “Sabrina’s working on graduate school applications. You ought to call her and check in.”
“You’re seriously scolding me about calling my sister? The little shit never calls me either.”
“She probably assumes you’re busy, like I do.”
Sabrina’s going to kill me.
Tell him. Don’t be a pussy.
“Did she put you up to this?” Mario asked.
Fuck. Why couldn’t I just do this? Now I was freezing up and getting Sabrina in trouble. “No, she just seemed to be missing you.”
Mario snorted. “Not likely.”
“So… um… how are things?”
“Like usual. Oh, I don’t guess you heard about Fargo and Cousta?”
“No,” I said. Please don’t let them be dead.
“They were caught fucking each other in the XO’s office.”
My pulse raced and sweat rolled down my back. I’d had both of those men on their knees in front of me. I’d jerked off with them numerous times—but never in an office. Behind a bar, in a closet, in a bathroom stall, sure. But in the XO’s goddamn office? Had they lost their minds?
“What happened to them?” I fought to keep my voice neutral.
“We don’t know yet.”
Fuck.
“Can you believe we didn’t even know they liked it up the ass?”
I wished he’d never told me. “Well, I…” Say something!
“You just never know about people, even when you work with them. I keep thinking about how many times I showered right next to them.”
I was going to puke if he kept going. “They’re still the same men you’ve known and trusted.”
“Seriously? Asheville’s gotten to you, man.”
“No, it’s not Asheville, it’s—”
“My sister and her damn liberal shit. Now she’s even got you calling me for her.”
“That’s not why I called.” Say it. Tell him you’re gay. “She didn’t put me up to it.”