Total pages in book: 51
Estimated words: 47597 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 238(@200wpm)___ 190(@250wpm)___ 159(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 47597 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 238(@200wpm)___ 190(@250wpm)___ 159(@300wpm)
And as I've already demonstrated, I don't think clearly when it comes to him. I rope my best friend into playing my boyfriend. I push and run and freak out. What happens if I get back home and it all becomes too much and I just…freak out and run again?
What happens when he decides to stop chasing me?
"Seems to me like maybe you've done a little too much thinking this time, baby girl."
"Is that even possible?"
"You tell me. Do you love him?"
"Yes."
"Do you want to be with him?"
"Yes."
"Then why are you thinking yourself out of it?"
"Nadia," I whisper. "I don't want to go through what she did."
Mom sighs, slipping her hand into mine. "Nadia and Teo's story is their own, Zoya. It isn't yours. Don't let their pain become an albatross around your neck. They wouldn't want that."
"I know. I just…" I sigh. "I guess I'm just afraid of going through what she did, but maybe you're right. Maybe I am overthinking it."
"I think you are," she says gently. "Nadia and Teo had to go through what they did to get where they are. That doesn't mean it'll happen to you and Jareth. You're both older than they were. You know what you want in life and what you're willing to sacrifice to get it. You know yourself in a way they didn't. They were just babies when they met."
"Yeah," I sigh again, staring out at the empty vines. She's right. But in a way, I think maybe she's wrong too. I always thought I knew myself. But if the last few days with Jareth have taught me anything, it's that I don't know nearly as much as I thought I did because everything I swore I didn't want? Well, it's suddenly become the thing I want more than anything.
Maybe that's my answer. He's been willing to fight for me this whole time. Even when I made it impossible, he fought. So…why am I so damn scared to do the same thing?
Because you're afraid to lose, a little voice whispers. And for once, you actually have something to lose.
It's not wrong. I am afraid to lose. But if I let fear rule me, I'm losing anyway, aren't I? It won't be time or distance that breaks me and Jareth. I won't have to run to push him away. My fear will do it for me. I'll splinter us apart, the architect of my own demise, just because I couldn't get out of my own damn way when it mattered most.
I can't let that happen. If the cost of not trusting myself is losing him…then I have to trust. For once, I have to stop listening to the little voice telling me that I'm going to fuck it up. I have to start listening to my heart. And it is screaming that he's my future.
"I need to go," I mumble, leaping to my feet. "I need to talk to Jareth."
"Good luck," Mom calls as I hurry off in search of him.
Ifind him in the cellar of the winery with his dad, his twin, and his cousin, Ridley, thirty minutes later. They're standing next to a row of casks, arguing about something.
"Would you just trust us?" Jareth growls at his twin, glaring daggers at him.
Bastian mutters a curse, pulling his glasses from his face to pinch the bridge of his nose. It's spooky how alike they look. Except for Bastian's glasses, they really are identical. "Fine. Whatever. Do it your way."
"Finally," Jareth growls.
"It's a good idea, son," Carter Grayson murmurs to Bastian.
Ridley notices me standing behind them and murmurs something to Jareth. He spins on his heel, the scowl on his face softening as soon as he sees me. His dad looks in my direction, shooting me a grin.
I really hope Jareth looks like him in thirty years because damn.
"Hey, sweetheart," Carter calls to me.
"Hi, Mr. Grayson."
Carter immediately narrows his eyes on me. "What'd I tell you about that?"
"Sorry," I mumble, blushing. "Forgot."
He grins at me, winking.
Jareth and I spent part of Christmas with his parents and siblings. I love his mom so much. And Jareth is just like his dad. They made me feel like part of the family. I'm going to miss them when we leave. Honestly, I'm going to miss everyone here. His whole family is loud, rambunctious, and a little crazy, but they're so damn nice. His cousins are wild. His uncles are hilarious. And his mom and aunt are my new role models in life.
"Hey, princess." Jareth strides toward me, leaving his dad, his brother, and Ridley to finish their conversation. "Is everything okay?"
"Yes. Did you mean it this morning? Do you really want me to move in?" I ask before I lose my nerve.
His expression softens further as he reaches out to cup my cheek. "Yeah, baby, I meant it."